Only One Mommy

Endurance and Wisdom

Many people have asked me how I have endured the past three and half years knowing that I could lose custody of my daughter and possibly be jailed.   I have answered them by saying “God has my life”.   I know that God has a plan and purpose for my life and for my daughter’s life.  My black zippered Bible cover says, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me” Psalms 138:8 and the zippered part contains numerous index cards with Bible promises written on them attesting to the fact that God predestined me for my journey.  One such Bible promise I wrote down early on in my legal journey is Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you…”   Another promise card reads-  Isaiah 44:2,8 “Thus says the Lord who made you And formed you from the womb, who will help you, O Jacob My servant, And you Jeshurum whom I have chosen…Do not tremble and do not be afraid; Have I not long since announced it to you and declared it? And you are My witnesses.  Is there any God besides Me, Or is there any other Rock? I know of none.”    Yet another card reads “Psalm 46:1 God is my refuge and my strength, A very present help in trouble”   

            I immerse myself in God’s word.  I read my Bible every day and I pray.  One of my daughter’s favorite songs is “Read your Bible and pray each day and you’ll grow, grow, grow…  Forget your Bible and neglect to pray and you’ll shrink, shrink, shrink….”   She starts out lying face down on the floor and as she sings the first verse four times she is finally standing on her feet, hands reaching toward the Heavens.  As she sings the second verse, she starts to shrink.  By the end of the fourth round of the second verse, she is again laying face down on the floor.   WOW!  What a reminder and testament to me to always start out “face down” with God.  He is my only strength and only with Him will I grow.  Just as the tree described in God’s word grows, does not wither and bears much fruit so do I when I am firmly planted in the rich soil of God’s word, the Bible.  

            I remember very vividly going back and forth to
Vermont in 2004 for the first of many court hearings.  I would tearfully entrust my daughter to my brother’s care and drive the long road to the airport to board a plane destined to
Albany where I would rent a car to drive another long road to
Vermont, the destination of the Rutland Family Court.  Oh, how I would cry out to our Lord on those long drives.  I would read Ester over and over on the plane. I would find peace and comfort in focusing on God and being in His word.  Even today, I revisit Ester and find comfort in what God said through Mordecai “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty (created) for such a time as this?” Ester replied “..And thus I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish”.   My Bible comments provide further insight and comfort: “Save your own skin and Watch out for number one are mottoes that reflect our world’s selfishness outlook on life. Ester’s attitude stands in bold contrast to this. She knew what she had to do, and she knew it could cost her her life.  And yet she responded, “If I perish, I perish”. We should have the same commitment to do what is right despite the possible consequences. Do you try to save yourself by remaining silent rather than standing up for what is right?  Decide to do what God wants, and trust him for the outcome”

            I trust my God for the outcome. I know that He does not want me to remain silent. I know that He wants me to stand for Him and allow Him to ”fight” through me in the “war”  that is raging against me.  The battle is not mine but of the Lords.  “Nothing is impossible with God.” He delivered me from a sinful lifestyle.  He delivered my daughter from that same lifestyle by providing me safe passage out of
Vermont, for where I go my daughter goes.  God gave Isabella to me by forming her in my womb.   If I remained silent then I would not be fulfilling God’s plan and purpose for me- for I have the peace of God which passeth all understanding when I think of the battle that has been waged against me and that has transcended state lines.  I am comforted by God’s promises of protection, provisions, and directions. 

I know that God protects, for He has protected me.  I know that God provides, for He has provided for me.  I know that God directs, for He has directed me.  I know that through trails a sweeter relationship and a closer walk with God will come to pass.  That is what I seek in life- “to have a closer walk with thee (God)”. 

 “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” (James 1:2-3) “But if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith, without doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind, For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord” (James 1:5-7).  

Wisdom is what I seek.  Wisdom from the Lord. Wisdom is God’s directions. Wisdom is God’s will.  Wisdom is attainable if I only seek and ask God for it.  As James and others say- wisdom is freely given if we ask.   In January 2006, I began painting a mural in my hall bathroom.  The theme of the mural is “Wisdom.”   While Isabella took her baths, I sketched, painted, and wrote on my bathroom walls until pencil drawings gave way to form and color.   Isabella watched, asked questions, and helped.   We painted and textured a tree firmly planted by the water with leaves of green. We painted on the tree trunk the verse Proverbs 3:18 “She is a tree of life who take hold of her. And happy are all who take hold of her.” This verse refers to wisdom. Isabella chose a sculpture of two doves on a branch to nail to one of painted tree branches stretching over to the bathtub.  I painted a snake wrapped around the thick brownish tree trunk.   The verse between the doves and the snake reads “be ye therefore wise as serpents and innocent as doves: Matthew 10:16b.”  Each green tree leaf has a thumbnail picture with a Bible verse written on it- some of the leaves read “Proverbs 3:3-4, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 4:1-9 and Proverbs 1:23”.  Some verses waiting to be painted on the remaining leaves will read Matthew 6:33-34, Luke 12: 48b, Proverbs 24:3-4, I Corinthians 14:40 and Philippians 4.  

On an adjacent wall, we painted a golden brown tree trunk and nailed a birdhouse to the trunk.  Painted purple martins that Isabella helped shade are perched on the birdhouse and are flying high around the tree.   I painted at the top of the tree trunk the Bible verse Matthew 6:25a, 26 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink… Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into the barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”   Each wall has a different wisdom theme.  Each wall is meant to remind me of Christ and His plan, provision and protection for us.  Wisdom is sought and found by the believer. 

Oh how I wish everyone could experience the peace that God can give.  I am not saying that I am always peaceful or even full of wisdom.  I do feel fear. I do feel sorrow. I do feel defeated at times.  However, when I am in the Word by both prayer and Bible reading I know God is with me. I know that “He will never leave me or forsake me.”  You too can feel this way. You too can face ANY trail that may be in your way.  You too can have “a peace that passeth all understanding” either while washing dishes at your kitchen sink or while you are facing your enemy.  Just call out to God.   Do you know God?  Do you feel God?  Are you a child of God?   God says in Jeremiah, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”  God goes on to say in Romans 3:10 “As it is written, there is no righteous, no not one”.  “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24).   All this means is that if we seek God, if we ask God to know Him, then we will find God.   We are sinners.  We all have sinned whether it is by lying (Proverbs 6:17), stealing (Exodus 5:19), or by thinking we are better than someone else (Proverbs 6:17).  There are many sins but a sin is a sin is a sin. God does not measure sin or show partiality to men/woman.   Rather, He says we are all sinners and we all fall short of His glory.   Sin keeps us from God.  Sin keeps us from living with Him.  Sin leads us down the path of death and into the pits of Hell- apart from ever experiencing God’s peace.  What can we do then?  

Accept His gift of eternal life.  Accept that God sent His son Jesus- making the ultimate sacrifice by giving His only son – into this world to die for us.  Jesus took on the penalty of our sin.  All we have to do now is believe that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes on Him shall not perish but shall have ever lasting life” John 3:16.    We need to “confess with our mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 for “WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED” Romans 10:13.   

It is that simple, believe, confess and be saved.   You will live a life with God in eternity.  Here on earth you can live a life of total assurance that whatever happens you will receive your glory in heaven. I am not saying that your life on earth will be perfect.  No, you may experience trails where you think your world is falling apart, where you think that what you are going through will never end and where you wonder if God does hear your prayers.  Rest assured though that through trails comes endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us (Romans 5:3-5).   What a comfort to me to know that God is with me when no one else may be.  What a peace I feel knowing that God is there with me during those times when all seems bleak.  What a joy it is to know that all I have to do is seek Him, pray and turn from my sin and He will hear me, forgive me and answer me (paraphrased from 2 Choronicles 7:14).    I have a forever Friend to walk with me, to guide me, to love me, to plan for me and to protect me.  

If you are new to Christ, whether as a new Christian or you just accepted Christ today,  I encourage you to find a Bible believing church.  A church family will support you in prayer, encouragement, Bible study, and Christian generosity.  Talk to the Pastor and share with him your new life in Christ.  Pick up your Bible and read it.   Talk to God in prayer.   Find other believers in Christ and hang out with them.  My prayer for you is that you know God as I do. That you feel a peace, a comfort, a love that is beyond our human understanding- God’s peace, God’s comfort, and God’s love.    Finally, “Do not be afraid of sudden fear, nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught” Proverbs 3:24. 

Joyfully Serving Christ,

Lisa Miller

Mark 5:19-20